Welcome back, dear reader. It has been a while. I wonder if people still read blogs. Nevertheless, I am really writing this to document where I am at. Jan 31st, 2020 I had a meniscus repair and that seemed to go well enough but the doctor at the time said "You will need a knee replacement, it is just a matter of when it becomes too unbearable". I went on from there and started getting cortisone shots in my knees for the past 18 months with increasing frequency.
On October 10th, 2023 I went to see the orthopedic surgeon about knee replacement as my knee pain had been awful, and was told that I needed to get below a 40 BMI. Suffice to say I was nowhere close to that. I was at about 435 or so at the time (guessing a bit). I was a little devastated but I had found a new resolve recently.
On March 19th of that same year, I quit drinking. I did this on my own for about three months until I decided that this was difficult and that there was support out there. I went to AA and it has been one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I am going to tell you my backstory with the goal of explaining what AA is for and what it has done for me and if someone out there reads this and has a similar story and has a desire to stop drinking they may find assistance.
I became drunk the first time when I was 12 years old at a college party but I did not really start a bad drinking career at that point. I drank in high school at parties and on weekends and then became an adult and then began what I thought was normal drinking at the time but I was always a binge drinker and would drink to oblivion. It was not until 2015 that things took a turn and I began drinking nearly daily. I have never been a person to have a drink or two and call it a night, I just never saw the point. If I was drinking I was drinking to get drunk. My daily drinking got worse and worse. I would try to quit or slow down and when I did it was never permanent, I always started drinking again and generally more. I finally said enough and stopped, but the craving did not leave, and it was a daily struggle, I was irritated a lot and frankly was just beaten. A friend had stopped a few months before me but was in a much better spot and I knew he was going to AA meetings. So I asked him and went to a meeting and have not looked back. Walking into AA the first time I wondered if I qualified, I never had a DUI, never spent any time in a rehab, never let it affect my work, never lost my house, and did not lose my marriage or my child. YET. I found others in the program just like me, hell my friend had basically the same story. and even if the guy next to me spent time in rehab or had legal issues or had lost everything they were still battling the same thing I was, avoiding alcohol. I found a sponsor and began working on the program. Three things happened, I found a higher power that works for me, I began to give a crap whether I lived or died, and the desire to drink left me. All miracles.
To close the book on my alcohol abuse story I want to tell everyone that if you want to stop, if you truly have the desire to stop drinking altogether, there is help out there. Hit up an AA hall, you will be welcomed and respected regardless of your situation. Your situation can be just like mine but more than likely you will have your own story. All I can tell you is that if you really want to stop drinking you have a resource. The only one who can tell you if you are an alcoholic is you.
I went through that story to say that before I quit drinking my give-a-shitter was broken, and I did not care much if I lived or died. So when the doc told me I needed to lose all that weight to get the new knee I also had the realization that I wanted to live for as long as my higher power wanted me to and to do that in a healthier manner I have to make a change. When I was successful in the past I was 34 years old. I'm nearly 50 now. My body is vastly different and as much as I would like to do this without the aid of surgery I feel like it would be much more difficult and I am not sure my knees have the kind of time it would take to lose 150 lbs. With that, I am moving forward with a DuoDenal Switch Surgery on Jan 31st. I will document as best I can.
I can tell you I have lost weight since I stopped drinking and then another 15 or so since beginning the process of the surgery. I have moved at least one meal and most times 2 meals a day to protein shakes. I am in the process of quitting carbonated beverages and caffeine. I am trying to eat slowly and to make the diet changes I need to. I am looking forward to this as everyone who I have talked to has said how they wish they would have done it years ago. I will continue to update and try to share to help anyone reading. One other little tidbit. I cannot tell you how happy I have this old blog to look back on. It is depressing but it is realistic.
