Thursday, January 25, 2024

1 week out

Yesterday I started the restricted diet. I had a protein shake for breakfast, a protein shake for lunch, and a late afternoon protein shake, and then had two scrambled eggs and a piece of whole grain toast for dinner. They ask that you start that on Friday and that can be done up to the surgery. This used to be all liquid for 5 days. I am going to do a few days of all liquid. I am drinking a ton of water to keep my appetite suppressed. To clarify I am going with the diet they say we can do Wednesday through Sat and All liquid from there to surgery on Wednesday. Tonight will be 4 ounces of salmon in the air fryer and 1/2 cup black beans. 

Mental I am ready to get rolling. I am feeling better just knowing we are close. I actually felt like working out yesterday and this morning. I think being off caffeine altogether has helped that. I do however have a bit of a feeling of dread that I will falter far down the line and allow my stomach to stretch and be morbidly obese again. 

Till next time.

Wednesday, January 10, 2024

Surgery

 Welcome back, dear reader. It has been a while. I wonder if people still read blogs. Nevertheless, I am really writing this to document where I am at. Jan 31st, 2020 I had a meniscus repair and that seemed to go well enough but the doctor at the time said "You will need a knee replacement, it is just a matter of when it becomes too unbearable". I went on from there and started getting cortisone shots in my knees for the past 18 months with increasing frequency.

On October 10th, 2023 I went to see the orthopedic surgeon about knee replacement as my knee pain had been awful, and was told that I needed to get below a 40 BMI. Suffice to say I was nowhere close to that. I was at about 435 or so at the time (guessing a bit). I was a little devastated but I had found a new resolve recently. 

On March 19th of that same year, I quit drinking. I did this on my own for about three months until I decided that this was difficult and that there was support out there. I went to AA and it has been one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I am going to tell you my backstory with the goal of explaining what AA is for and what it has done for me and if someone out there reads this and has a similar story and has a desire to stop drinking they may find assistance. 

I became drunk the first time when I was 12 years old at a college party but I did not really start a bad drinking career at that point. I drank in high school at parties and on weekends and then became an adult and then began what I thought was normal drinking at the time but I was always a binge drinker and would drink to oblivion. It was not until 2015 that things took a turn and I began drinking nearly daily. I have never been a person to have a drink or two and call it a night, I just never saw the point. If I was drinking I was drinking to get drunk. My daily drinking got worse and worse. I would try to quit or slow down and when I did it was never permanent, I always started drinking again and generally more. I finally said enough and stopped, but the craving did not leave, and it was a daily struggle, I was irritated a lot and frankly was just beaten. A friend had stopped a few months before me but was in a much better spot and I knew he was going to AA meetings. So I asked him and went to a meeting and have not looked back. Walking into AA the first time I wondered if I qualified, I never had a DUI, never spent any time in a rehab, never let it affect my work, never lost my house, and did not lose my marriage or my child. YET. I found others in the program just like me, hell my friend had basically the same story. and even if the guy next to me spent time in rehab or had legal issues or had lost everything they were still battling the same thing I was, avoiding alcohol. I found a sponsor and began working on the program. Three things happened, I found a higher power that works for me, I began to give a crap whether I lived or died, and the desire to drink left me. All miracles.

To close the book on my alcohol abuse story I want to tell everyone that if you want to stop, if you truly have the desire to stop drinking altogether, there is help out there. Hit up an AA hall, you will be welcomed and respected regardless of your situation. Your situation can be just like mine but more than likely you will have your own story. All I can tell you is that if you really want to stop drinking you have a resource. The only one who can tell you if you are an alcoholic is you.

I went through that story to say that before I quit drinking my give-a-shitter was broken, and I did not care much if I lived or died. So when the doc told me I needed to lose all that weight to get the new knee I also had the realization that I wanted to live for as long as my higher power wanted me to and to do that in a healthier manner I have to make a change. When I was successful in the past I was 34 years old. I'm nearly 50 now. My body is vastly different and as much as I would like to do this without the aid of surgery I feel like it would be much more difficult and I am not sure my knees have the kind of time it would take to lose 150 lbs. With that, I am moving forward with a DuoDenal Switch Surgery on Jan 31st. I will document as best I can.

I can tell you I have lost weight since I stopped drinking and then another 15 or so since beginning the process of the surgery. I have moved at least one meal and most times 2 meals a day to protein shakes. I am in the process of quitting carbonated beverages and caffeine. I am trying to eat slowly and to make the diet changes I need to. I am looking forward to this as everyone who I have talked to has said how they wish they would have done it years ago.  I will continue to update and try to share to help anyone reading. One other little tidbit. I cannot tell you how happy I have this old blog to look back on. It is depressing but it is realistic. 

Wednesday, April 3, 2019

459

Well I am back I suppose.  I know this was a useful tool before, if only for me.  I am not sure where this blog will go or who exactly I am speaking to but yet again something must be done.  My first start back in 2007 I had hit 400lbs.  I lost over 100 pounds an then proceeded to gain it all back, and then some.  Frankly there is nothing different this time.  The way I figure it the difference needs to be at the finish line, and realizing there is no finish line.  Honestly that is a depressing thought, but until I can figure out how to eat and not lose control that is the reality. 

I have lost 11 pounds in the last week.  That is in the neighborhood of 2.5 %.  That is a healthy loss and I have not been hungry, well not starving.  I have gone back to fruit for breakfast, and avoiding the things I love for lunch.  I have yet to give up beer, but have tried to omit the sweets.  This entire process makes me a little sad that I am starting over, but I need to.  My body tells me that it hurts every single day.  Pain that I have found difficult to hide.  My knees are shot, I have obesity induced plantar fasciitis, I sleep for shit and just overall an not in great health.

So here I go again.  I have goals in mind but I am hesitant to post them for now.  I will see you soon and hopefully have insightful words to give you.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Looking for love in all the wrong places...

What motivates you, or me or anyone for that matter.  It is different for everyone right?  I am not just imagining it right?

Motivation is like a that firefly you just cannot seem to catch.  You would think cancer would be a motivator.  Hell I lost 40 lbs during the whole thing.  What a kick start right.  Umm not so much.

So most recently I witnessed one of my dearest friends compete in and complete an Ironman race.  For those of you who are uninitiated it is 1 day of grueling triathlon.  2.4 miles in the water, 112 miles on the bike followed by a 26.2 mile, yes full marathon, run.  This is inspiring to me.  But have I done anything with that inspiration?  I guess I have eaten a bit better.  But exercise has been completely absent.

Ah motivation where are you.  I should offer a reward and put it up at the local market.  Call Matt if you find it. 


Monday, August 22, 2011

Drumroll Please....

Well as it turns out I was right to be scared.  It has been a whirlwind several weeks, but I am emerging slowly from the other side.

When I last left you I had a colonoscopy, and the doc removed some polyps.  Well it turns out that one of them was cancerous.  Which of course I did not take exactly well.  However.... The GOOD NEWS is that I have already had surgery and they removed about a foot a colon and all of the cancer with it.  It ended up being Stage 1.  That means NO chemo, NO radiation, and surgery is the only thing I have to endure.  Of course I will be visiting an oncologist and the GI doc for followups and still remain nervous.

More than anything though I am optimistic.  I am getting back to losing weight and am going to try hard this time to keep it off.  I am going to be on a mission to let people know about colon cancer and making sure that people pay attention to their crap, and schedule the colonoscopy when the time comes.  Talk to your family members and find out if they have had polyps.  I could go on but the real news today is that I am CANCER FREE.  oh and I have dropped a little over 40 lbs since Sept last year.  :-)

Monday, July 11, 2011

Scared Straight

You would think so.  I know I have been MIA for some time again.  What can I say?  I have no excuse.  All I can do is start again.  Obviously something precipitated this post so I should just get to it.

I went in to the doc after having some blood in my stool, okay, it had been there off and on from some time.  Now I know it is gross to think or talk about but I am damn glad I finally said something.  Doc sent me off to get a colonoscopy and the GI doc found and removed several polyps.  Now this in itself is not great, but it is not good.  What is really not good?  The doc called them large and one was enormous.  So what the hell does all that mean doc?

Doc says that the polyps were benign but they have sent them off to Mayo for more tests.  What?  Sent them where?  Mayo?  As in Mayo Clinic?  As in.....  

Thanks Doc!  So I go back in Wednesday to see what is really up.

So obviously I went out and researched everything I could on polyps and causes and what not.  So every site said a primary cause was genetics.  There were also a whole myriad of different other reasons why someone may develop polyps.  But you know what else was listed on every site?  Thats right folks.   Being overweight and a sedentary lifestyle. 

So here we go again.  I will update numbers on the right as soon as I have them.  I have started the process again.  Eating better and trying to get some exercise.  You would think all the warnings would scare a guy straight.  I just hope a near miss on cancer does.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Back to the gym

Made it back to the gym this morning.  I feel better already.  Just feel like I have more energy, more ready to face the day.

So I did manage to wake up and get to the gym by 5:30.  I hit the elliptical right off and just like a race I was out of the gates quickly.  This of course was followed by me feeling like I was going to die about 2 minutes in.  I slowed down and grabbed the side rails and hung on until I finally caught my breath a bit.  I then got in a rhythm and manged to knock out a total of 30 minutes.  I was tired.  I had to use the side rails several times but I made it.  I started to do some lifting after, but was just to tired.  After a shower I felt refreshed and ready for the day.

I had forgotten that getting up and working out in the morning is a good thing.  It just makes you feel better.  My mood of late has been for crap.  I know that getting some kind of workout in helps.  Just gotta keep it up!