Gee I sure am comfortable.

OK so I am wondering if this happens to a lot of people.  You lose some weight, you make some behavior changes, you still have some more weight to lose, but you get comfortable.  You stop losing and start to revert back to behaviors that got you to the heavier you.

Has that happened to you?

I am pretty certain that is what is happening to me.  I hit 300 lbs, lost 100 lbs and got comfy.  I am still not real happy with what I see in the mirror, but I am not as repulsed as I once was.  I am more physically fit than many many people.  So I am comfortable.

Then comes the self destructive behaviors.  I might drink to much on occasion or I might indulge in things that were completely off limits before.  Chips and Ben and Jerry's indulgences.  I am telling myself that once the new year rolls around then I will be back on track.  I just don't want to gain a bunch over the holidays.  I don't want to gain anything over the holidays. 

I try to look back and see what I have done, but honestly in this particular case I try to look forward most of the time.  I feel like focusing on gains and losses can lead to that aforementioned self destructive behavior.

So I am asking you guys today.  Did you comfortable along the way?  What did you do to break the cycle?

In other news, I am running a 5k to replace the once I missed.  The Parkville Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving Day.  Weather is gonna be a bit chilly, but I am looking forward to the race. 

Beyond that, Enjoy your Thanksgiving.  I plan on having some great food and great company.  This year in particular I am thankful for my family, my friends, my new found blogging friends, and for the my health and the health of my family and friend and all of you guys! 

Gobbler Grind?

Oh yes I would love to tell you I went out and ran the 5k, but that would be a flat out lie. 

Word of advice to runners over the age of 30.  Don't go out for a few (and by a few I mean a few pitchers) margaritas the day before race day.  Seems like common sense now.  Oh well.  I might try to run a race on Thanksgiving morning.  I am also fighting with a sinus infection that I did not want to make worse, but really it was the booze.

Tomorrow I am going to dive into the thought that we reach a significant milestone and then subconsciously start self destructive behaviors.  Not sure where that once is gonna take us but it should be interesting, and probably long.  Better bring your reading glasses tomorrow. 

Till then.  

Willie Nelson and I are old pals!

I was back "On the road again" last night.  I made ol' Willie proud!  I ran a 5k training run last night.  I came out really strong and finished a bit weak.  Honestly exactly what I expected.  I am not disappointed at all, in fact my time was not horrible for me.  I cruised in with a 36:26 so I am happy with that.

Now I am going to kissing the dreadmill goodbye forever.  If it means not winter running then so be it.  I will get on the elliptical.  I HATE the dreadmill.  I am now pretty excited about the race this Sunday.  I don't really have any time goals so my goal will be to have a great time.

Up 2.8 and a Duathlon?

So up 2.8 lbs. and not all that surprised.  I will qualify the weigh in a bit as I made the switch from gym shorts to jeans for the winter.  I was also in a long sleeve T rather than short.  Not that it made up the entire 2.8 but it might have made up a bit. 

Tonight I plan on getting in my run.  Well plan is not the word as much as I must.  if I have to go to a lighted park to do it I will.  I have to run a bit in the elements and get my endurance up a bit.

The question I eluded to is this.

Would you tackle a Duathlon (run / bike) in April if you ran your first 5k in October?

They have 2 courses a one where you run 3 miles and bike 7 and another where you run 5 miles and bike 15.

The first question as I stated above -
Would you do it?
and then
Which one would you do?

This is the link for all of you jumping in to join me. 

Shakespeare's Pizza MaxTrax Duathlon April 11 2009

And just so you know Shakespeare's has some of the best Pizza on the Planet.

Tried the dreadmill again.

I HATE IT I  HATE IT I  HATE IT!  Yes that is the little kid in me screaming and yelling that I just hate something.  Well I know better now and will not do that again.  It was just silly to try it.  The first time I did it I did not like it.  The second, same result.  Then I went outside and actually enjoyed running.  NO MORE TREADMILL FOR ME.

That said I logged a measly mile and struggled through every bit of it.  Then I hopped on the elliptical for 45 minutes and did a full circuit on the weights.  I was in the gym for almost 2 hours.  The girlfriend must have thought I had been abducted by workout aliens.

I will go to weight watchers tonight.  I will weigh in wear jeans and probably gain a couple of pounds.  I confident I am still under 300, but I just need to put it all together again.  Oh well.  If I stay at 300 for the rest of the year I will look back at 2008 as the year I lost 100 lbs.  but honestly I am hoping for a bit more.  We shall see.

Gobbler Grind on Saturday

Holy crap!  I looked at the calendar and I am running a 5k this Saturday.  I have run all of 6 miles since my last 5k.  This should be interesting.  I am not sure what to wear, I am praying for some decent weather and hoping for a good run.  Nothing like going into your second race cold huh.

This week I will refocus on running.  I am still going to try to break my personal record set my last time out.  I will run a minimum of 2 miles tonight and try to get in the entire 3.11.  I will continue to life and work out full bore until Friday when I will do 2 miles and then 1 mile on Saturday.

Holy Crap!  Sunday is race day.   But I should get a tech shirt out of this one!

Do you know what day it is?

Well I would not have know either if it were not for George. You see early in my weight watchers journey I was searching for other blogs to read and I came across the B.A.D blog. Authored by one of the most amazing people who love to meet someday.

I found George because he at one time did weight watchers, but his blog is about everything in his life. His faith, his struggle with weight, his family, and diabetes. George and his family are amazing. Read up and you will see.

You should check out his blog and give him a shout out to say hello. Click below to get B.A.D.

I encourage you to learn more about the disease and do what you can. If all you can do is pray for a cure then please do. For now I am praying.

Why to work out in the morning

So I worked out this morning.  I did not get that run in last night.  I have a tone of excuses but basically it all boils down to running out of time.  I had all kinds of things come up.  I had to work late, I had to pick up the little one and get some dinner going and, and, and, and.

So I rolled out this morning at O' Dark thirty and hit they gym.  45 minutes on the elliptical and some weights.  I feel good and I had nothing going on at 4:30am.

It is funny how nothing comes up at 4:30 in the morning.  You don't have to work late, or pick up kids, or worry about traffic.  It is just you and the sunrise.  pretty peaceful really.  I walked out this morning and paused for a moment before heading to the gym.  I listened.  I could only hear a couple of cars.  It was nearly silent.

One of my favorite times to be outside is in the evening during a snow shower.  It is just silent.  I just love that.  Sorry I kinda got of on a tangent there.  But in our world of constant stimulus I crave silence more as I get older. 

Change in plans

For today anyway.  I did not sleep all that well last night and in the back of my head I knew that today's weather was going to be good enough for running outside.  Sooo  I am going to get my run on tonight and bust out a 5k training run.

I am planning on this being a pretty relaxed pace, which for me is just above a brisk walk, but I am thinking a 12:30 per mile pace would be good.  We will see how I feel this afternoon.  It is funny with running.  You can plan an easy run and find that you are ready to really get after it and end up running at a much faster pace.  Or on the other side, and it seems like this happens more often than the former, you could plan on a faster run and end up with dead legs and struggle through your entire run. 

But struggle we will right?  Of course.  I was telling someone yesterday how interesting it is now that I am in some semblance of physical fitness that you might hit a point in your cardio work out where you want to stop but after a few minutes you get through it and you are on cruise control.  That is a good feeling to know that even though your mind is telling you that your done, and your muscles are beginning to tell you they are tired that you can keep going.

Point of all that.  We all just need to keep going.  Of course when I say "we" I really meant "I".  I need to keep going with the exercise.  It is to important to the process to just forget about it.

Yea Baby!

I made it to the gym.  I didn't even get lost on the way there.  The alarm went off at 4:30 and there was some bargaining going on.  Sleepy Matt on my left shoulder said, "Hey, you don have to be to work until 8, go back to sleep.  Then a more motivated Matt reminded me what I wrote in this very blog last night.  I will make it to the gym I said.  I made it to the gym and got in a great workout.

I walked in finding the elliptical machines still sitting where I had left them.  I hopped on and decided that I should be ambitious and try to knock out 45 minutes at a low "level".  I managed to do the whole thing and according to the calorie counter I burned over 1000 calories.  I may or may not be accurate, but I can tell you my heart rate was between 140 and 160 most of the way.  Only one or two spikes in the middle and it was lower at the beginning and end.

Then I managed to hit the weights.  While I did not do a full circuit on the upper body I did manage to get in 3 sets each of presses, curls, triceps extensions, and chest fly's.  The thing that really bugs me is the amount of strength I lost.  That alone is motivation to hit the gym.

So tomorrow.  The alarm will blare its hideous tune and I will rise and go to the gym.

Changing the subject for a hot second

What the heck is up with The Biggest Loser these day.   Entertaining yes, but there are some very nasty people on the show this season.  I for one watch the show to be entertained, but even more so to be inspired.  To hear the hateful words coming out of the mouths of some contestants is just ridiculous.

I will work out in the morning

I will work out tomorrow morning. I will get my ass out of bed and go to the gym. I will, I will, I will.

I ate it because it was there.

And the roller coaster headed down a to a new low last night.  You want to see what waited for me there?

We decided after working in the ward for 5ish hours that cooking was out.  So order a pizza.  So far we are good.

Mistake One:  Order a medium (papa johns only does thin crust in large pizzas.

Mistake two:  Order that badboy you see right above rather than my normal Garden fresh

Mistake three:  Oh God how I do not want to admit this but I am so maybe next time I will realize that I was full a long time before I stopped.
Back to Mistake three:  I ate the whole thing.

BY MYSELF.

What that hell was I thinking.  I know I know it is only one meal and one day, pick myself up and move on.

The question is more about motivation.  Why did I eat the whole thing?  Eating an entire pizza in one sitting qualifies as a binge.  I was hungry when I started and ended up miserable when I was done.  I wish I could answer the question.  Right now the best I got was I ate it because it was there.

TV Workout and a quick thank you

Ohhh the the benefits of a morning workout.  How quickly we forget.

So this morning I was just laying in bed after time had passed where I could get out for a run or go to the gym with enough time and I though.  Morgan said something about Fitness on Demand on Time Warner.  I searched it out this morning and guess what...  IT WAS THERE.

I queued up this men's fitness cardio workout that focuses on the core.  Let me tell you this 22 minute work out was great.  Well at least for sweating and huffing and puffing.  I am guessing I might be a bit sore from it but I am feeling good and full of energy this morning.  I am not sure the TV workout is for me but I can tell you that it is better for me than laying in bed.

On the food front... Well I suck.  I have come a long way and that is great and all but I need to focus.  The holidays are coming up.  Comfort food is coming out in droves with the cold weather.  At least I am holding steady.  I am still below 300 so I am happy for the that.

Finally.  Thank you for the comments yesterday.  I think you guys are right and maybe we need to dream a little more and share that with our little ones.  All this thought of losing sight of our dreams has made me think about my own dreams and happiness.  It has also made me think about my child and all the children out there.  So I pass this along to you parents and future parents.

Let your children dream and dream BIG.  Encourage it.  As simple as it sounds, do it.  We get caught up in our daily lives of work and the news we are fed with every day.  Shelter you kids more from the negativity of the world.  It makes me think of  the song "Accentuate the Positive", check out the lyrics.  This was what we need to do more of in our lives.

Accentuate the Positive-

Gather 'round me, everybody
Gather 'round me while I'm preachin'
Feel a sermon comin' on me
The topic will be sin and that's what I'm ag'in'
If you wanna hear my story
The settle back and just sit tight
While I start reviewin'
The attitude of doin' right

You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between

You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium's
Liable to walk upon the scene

To illustrate my last remark
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they do just when everything looked so dark?

(Man, they said "We'd better accentuate the positive")
("Eliminate the negative")
("And latch on to the affirmative")
Don't mess with Mister In-Between (No!)
Don't mess with Mister In-Between

(Ya got to spread joy up to the maximum)
(Bring gloom down to the minimum)
(Have faith or pandemonium's)
(Liable to walk upon the scene)

You got to ac (yes, yes) -cent-tchu-ate the positive
Eliminate (yes, yes) the negative
And latch (yes, yes) on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No, don't mess with Mister In-Between

I will focus more on the weight loss and exercise now.  Lets face it.  I proved it to myself for the millionth time.  Start your day off with some exercise and you just feel better.  Plain and simple.

How do you explain dreaming big to a 9 year old.

Wow. Last night was a tough one. I am sure many of you have children and may have been through this but I really struggled with how to explain "dreaming big" to my 9 3/4 year old. He would be upset if I referred to him as 9.

Last night at dinner we were talking about Charlie's post about what we want to be when we grow up. We talked about dreaming of growing up to be something and I asked my son what he wanted to be when he grew up. Now I knew I would not get an answer because he never seems to know. I am fine with that. What I got this time however was altogether different. My son said, "I don't want to dream about what I want to be because I do not want to be disappointed.

I was floored. I was sad. I wondered if this is only my child or were there many children who feel this way. I tried to explain dreaming big is a good thing and remembering those dreams is important. Honestly I was devastated. I felt as if my 9 year old son was actually 39 and uttering those words after a long day at work.

Is innocence lost the appropriate term. I am not sure. I am not sure you can get back to where he should be. The whole world is available to him and he should feel exactly that way. I hope that I have not gone wrong in some way.

Sorry for the lack of weight loss talk lately, but I would really love to get your guys take on this. Any psychologist out there?

Art.

Well I am going to take a break from weight loss blogging today and talk about art. Charlie over at Back to the Fridge asked what we wanted to be when we grow up. I came up with a few things really and at nearly 35 years old I figure that it might be time to grow up a bit. That said I am also in no big hurry.

So one of the things I mentioned was Photography. In particular fine art photography. You see way back in high school my tow best friends were photogs for school publications. At the time it seemed logical to take the photography class to hang out with them. Well it turned out that I was struck by the photography bug. My friend both went on to other careers but are excellent photographers. Jay is one of the best sports photogs I have seen, even to this day he can take amazing shots. Like this.


Then there is my buddy Jason who is actually back in school and getting is Masters of Fine Art in Digital Photography. Who can come up with stuff like this.

So I guess I should also share some of my stuff to:

Here are a few of my favorites.

Tulips at Bellagio

 
Stargazer in Black (Photo I did for my girlfriend last Christmas)UPDATE:  Here is the original

  
I took this picture of a puddle in my driveway and then edited the color and saturation.



This is a photo from a camping trip. I took this photo from under the leaves on a slightly overcast day. you would think this is a black and white photo, but it is shot in color.



And my favorite is what I call "Inverted day at Shedd" I took all these images and then inverted the colors on them. I matted them on a piece of Plexiglas I painted black and then hand sanded swirls into. This is the finished product.

Election Day and skipping weigh in.

Well I think I pretty much held steady this week, I am not going to weight in tonight and will just forgo it for the week.   I have to get out and exercise rights that others before me fought for.  Voting is important to me.  More important that hitting my meeting.

I am also planning on some good exercise by raking leaves for a couple of hours.

Sorry guys I just don't have a ton to say lately.

Ohh, I would say that if you have never had a honeycrisp apple.  You should try one.

Happy Election day everyone.  Go out and exercise your rights.